Every breakup has two authors. Figure out which chapters you wrote.

Two people build a relationship and two are present when it comes apart, which does not mean the halves were equal. Some endings are mostly one person’s doing, and if you were treated badly, none of this is asking you to take that on. Where it applies, finding your own contribution is the part that travels with you into the next one.

When you are past the rawest part, write down two or three things you would do differently. Patterns rather than moments: what you avoided saying, what you agreed to and did not mean. Keep it for yourself, since it is for the next relationship, not this one.