Feeling out of place at a new level usually means you just got there. It’s jet lag, not proof you don’t belong.

RESILIENCE

WHAT THIS MEANS

Discomfort at a new level is a symptom of recency, not of unsuitability. Everyone in the room went through it, and the ones who look settled are mostly just further from their own arrival. Your internal sense of belonging updates much more slowly than your circumstances do, which is why the feeling lags behind the facts.

Give it a season before drawing conclusions about whether you fit. Meanwhile, ask the questions a new person is allowed to ask, because that window closes. And notice when the room stops feeling strange, which tends to happen quietly.

A QUESTION TO SIT WITH

Where have you walked in feeling behind everyone else?

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