“What did you mean by that?” is almost always a smarter reply than whatever your thumbs were about to type.

A reply typed fast is usually aimed at the worst reading of what someone said. Asking what they meant costs one line and buys you the actual message instead of the one your mood invented. It also hands the other person a chance to say it better, which most people take when they are offered it.

Next time a message lands badly, write the question before the defence. Wait for the answer, then decide whether there was anything to be upset about at all.