Your parents were figuring it out too. Give them the grace God keeps handing you.

Parents get judged against a standard they were never given. They came into it unqualified, carrying whatever they had been handed, making decisions in real time with incomplete information and no rehearsal. Seeing that does not erase what was hard, and some of it was genuinely hard. It just lets them be people rather than a verdict.

Ask one question this week about what their life was actually like at your age. Listen to the answer without adjusting your case while they talk. Extend the allowance you would want if someone reviewed your worst year, and keep whatever distance you need if the situation calls for it.