You don’t have to fill every silence with God with words. Sometimes you just sit together.

Words can be a way of managing a relationship rather than being in it. When a silence makes you nervous, you fill it, and the filling keeps everything at a comfortable distance. Sitting with someone without producing anything is a more exposed thing to do. It is also where most of the closeness in any long relationship quietly accumulates.

Take a few minutes this week and say nothing, whether that is prayer or a walk with no podcast running. Let it be awkward at first, because it will be. Try the same with a person you are close to, and notice that comfortable silence is its own kind of trust.