Notes from people who want you to win sting differently than hate does. Learn to tell which envelope you opened.

Criticism from someone invested in you hurts, but it hurts in a direction you can use. Hostility hurts as well and points nowhere, because the hurting was the aim. Telling them apart quickly saves you from throwing away help and from absorbing damage you do not owe. The usual tell is whether the comment leaves you with something to do.

When something stings this week, ask what it would cost the sender if you actually got better. If the answer is nothing, take the note seriously. If the sting was the point, let it pass.