Not swinging back isn’t weakness. It’s refusing to let them pick your next move.

Hitting back feels like taking control and is usually the reverse, since the other person has just chosen your next move for you. Declining leaves the decision where it started, with you. That is not the same as being fine with what happened or pretending it did not sting. It only means your response gets made on your own schedule, if at all.

Put a gap between the provocation and whatever you do next, even a short one. Work out inside that gap what you actually want. Then choose, rather than answer.