Would twelve-year-old you think you’re cool right now? Not rich, not famous, just cool.

Children judge by a standard that has nothing to do with status and everything to do with whether someone seems free. At twelve you admired people who could do interesting things, who were kind to you, who were clearly themselves in public. Somewhere along the way that test got replaced with an adult scoreboard your younger self would have found boring.

Ask what would genuinely impress the twelve-year-old version of you about your current life, and what would disappoint them. Take the second answer seriously without being harsh about it. That standard is often closer to your real values than the one you are currently using.