Ranking whose life is harder is a contest where everybody loses.

Comparing hardship turns pain into a competition where the prize is that nobody gets comforted. Somebody always has it worse, so the rule cancels every difficulty, including the ones that genuinely need attention. Your own trouble does not have to be the worst in the room in order to be real.

When someone tells you a hard thing, resist answering with a harder one and just stay with theirs. When you catch yourself dismissing your own because of somebody else’s, notice that the move has never once made you feel better or them feel worse.