Roasting yourself every night hasn’t made you better yet. Maybe try coaching instead of heckling.

Harsh self-criticism feels productive because it resembles accountability, and the theory is that being hard enough on yourself will force an improvement. Your own history is the evidence: it has been tried nightly for years and changed very little. Criticism with no instruction attached is just noise pointed inward.

Swap the verdict for the question a decent coach would ask: what went wrong, and what is the adjustment. Keep the standard and drop the contempt, since only one of them was doing any work. You will notice you learn faster when you are not braced against yourself.