Some people are windows on the outside and walls on the inside. Be curious about both sides.

Openness in public and closedness in private are not a contradiction. They are often the same protective habit seen from two angles. Someone can tell you a great deal about their week and nothing about what it cost, and the flow of detail is what keeps you from noticing the gap. Being easy to talk to is not the same as being known.

With someone you consider close, ask a question that cannot be answered with news. Ask what has been hard lately, and what they usually leave out. Then let the silence sit long enough to be filled.