The trait you secretly roll your eyes at in someone might be the freedom you haven’t given yourself.

Irritation is rarely proportionate, and the disproportionate part is the clue. When someone’s loudness or ease or willingness to take up space needles you more than it should, it is often because you have spent years not permitting yourself the same thing. The rule you follow feels less fair when you watch someone ignore it and survive.

Next time that specific irritation arrives, pause and ask what they are allowing themselves. Then ask whether you would want it. Sometimes the answer is no and the annoyance is just annoyance. Sometimes the answer is yes, and you have found a permission you have been withholding.