Fairness does not always mean giving everyone the same thing.

Identical treatment is only fair when circumstances are identical, which they rarely are. Giving everyone the same thing can be the most efficient way to preserve an existing imbalance, since the same support means something very different to someone starting with nothing than to someone starting with plenty. Fairness has to be measured against what people actually need, not against the tidiness of the distribution.

When you are dividing something, whether attention, money, or time, ask what each person’s situation actually is before splitting it evenly. Even shares feel defensible and are sometimes the easy way out. Being able to explain why one person got more is harder and often more honest.