Listening is patience with a face on it.

Real attention is mostly restraint. What makes someone feel heard is not a technique but a willingness to leave a silence unfilled, to not start the sentence you already have ready, to stay inside someone else’s account longer than is comfortable. Most conversations go wrong because both people are waiting rather than listening.

In your next serious conversation, hold off for three seconds after the other person stops. Ask one question about what they said before you offer anything of your own. You will find out how much you normally miss in the rush to answer.