The friends who know your whole story didn’t show up in a week. They got built one boring hangout at a time.

Closeness is made of accumulated ordinary time, not of significant occasions. The conversations that matter tend to happen inside unremarkable ones, on drives and in kitchens, and there is no route to them except having been around long enough for the unremarkable to happen. It is also why a new place can feel lonely for a while when nothing is wrong with you.

Put low effort, repeatable time in the calendar with one or two people. Nothing planned, nothing memorable required. Depth is a function of hours, and hours only pass at one speed.