When someone accuses you of exactly what they keep doing, you’re looking at a projector, not a mirror.

People describe their own behavior most vividly when they are talking about somebody else, because it is the material they know best. An accusation that fits the accuser and not you is rarely a misreading; it is a confession pointed outward. Trying to disprove the charge misses what is actually going on.

Check the claim once, honestly, in case there is something in it. If it matches nothing you recognize and matches them closely, stop defending. Deal with the real behavior between you if it needs dealing with, and let the mismatched accusation sit there unanswered.