Staying calm while they’re yelling isn’t weakness. It’s you holding the remote.
LEADERSHIP
WHAT THIS MEANS
Raised voices work by transferring a state, and matching it hands over the only thing in the exchange that was still yours. Staying level is not passivity; it is declining to let somebody else set the temperature of the room. Whoever stays steady usually ends up shaping how the thing goes.
When the volume rises this week, slow down rather than speeding up. Lower your voice slightly and leave a beat before you answer. If it keeps climbing, say you will continue later and mean it, which is a use of the remote too.
A QUESTION TO SIT WITH
Who can raise their voice and still not move you?
MORE IN STRATEGY, SILENCE & POWER
- Turning something down doesn’t come with a required essay. The four paragraphs are you begging for a pass.
- Your time has a price tag. Stop giving it away at a discount to people who don’t even check the tag.
- Blocking someone isn’t immature when talking has already failed three times. It’s a fire door.
Free, with nothing to buy inside it.