Before you blow up, find the real reason you’re mad. It’s usually not the thing on the counter.

Anger usually attaches itself to whatever is nearest, which is rarely where it came from. The dish on the counter makes a convenient target because it is present, while the real cause is often older, larger and harder to say out loud. Aimed at the wrong thing, the anger spends itself and nothing gets resolved.

When the heat rises, take a minute and ask what else has been going on today. Name the real one even if only to yourself. Then decide whether the thing in front of you still deserves the response you were about to give it.