The sore spot you refuse to look at becomes the button everybody else gets to push.

A sore spot you refuse to examine is still fully operational, and the people around you can see roughly where it sits. Avoidance does not shrink it, it leaves it unguarded, so any careless remark lands squarely on it. Looking at the thing yourself is how it stops being a lever anyone can reach for.

Think of the topic that reliably makes you flare. Go at it alone, or with one person you trust, and find out what is actually underneath. It may not stop hurting, but pain you understand is much harder for other people to use.