The less you need from people, the harder you are to control.

Need is the handle people hold you by. Whatever you cannot do without, whether that is approval, a paycheck with no alternative, or one person’s attention, is where pressure works on you. Reducing the need does not require rejecting anybody, only having somewhere else to stand.

Look at what you would find hardest to lose and quietly build a little slack beside it. A small amount saved, a second friendship, one more skill, and the grip loosens. You can still want things, and wanting is not the same as being held.