In a relationship, if one of you wins the argument, you both lose. Fight the problem, not each other.
LEADERSHIP
WHAT THIS MEANS
An argument between two people on the same side has no winner available. The moment it becomes about who is right, the real issue goes unattended while both of you collect evidence, and whoever prevails ends up with a more resentful partner. Being correct is poor consolation for the distance it buys.
Try describing the problem out loud together, from the same side, before anyone defends anything. Ask what outcome you both want, which is usually closer than the argument suggests. And if you are winning, stop and check what it is costing.
A QUESTION TO SIT WITH
Which argument were you trying to win instead of solve?
MORE IN LEADERSHIP & INFLUENCE
- Being coachable is trusting that someone on the sideline can see a part of the game you can’t.
- Apologizing to your little sibling teaches them more about being a good person than any lecture.
- Want a friend who checks in, remembers birthdays and keeps secrets? Start by being one. Supply creates demand.
Free, with nothing to buy inside it.