Everyone texts the week it happens. Real ones text a month later, when it’s still happening but nobody’s asking.

Concern arrives in a wave and then withdraws, usually long before the difficulty does. The first week is crowded with messages and the fourth week is quiet, which is often when the person is most alone with it. Nobody means to disappear; the news simply stops being news for everyone but the person living inside it.

Put a reminder in your phone for a month after something hard happens to someone. Send a short message then that expects no reply and asks nothing of them. You do not need the right words, only to be one of the few still counting.