If a pattern has run in your family for generations, you can be the chapter where the plot changes.

Patterns travel through families because they are learned early and rarely examined. What looked normal in your house was simply frequent, and frequency is very convincing. At some point somebody notices the pattern, and the noticing is what makes change possible at all. That person does not have to blame anyone in order to stop the handoff.

Pick one inherited habit you have watched hurt people and decide now what you will do instead when it next appears. Expect to fail at it sometimes and to begin again. Being the first one who tried is already a change in the record.