The need to appear unaffected can give an injury a longer life than admitting it hurt.

Refusing to acknowledge that something hurt keeps it in the system. The injury cannot be addressed, discussed, or grieved, so it stays active and shapes behavior indefinitely, all in the service of an appearance. The cost of admitting it is a few uncomfortable minutes; the cost of not admitting it is measured in years.

Tell one person that something got to you. Not everyone, and not as a performance of vulnerability. Just one person, plainly. Things that have been said out loud tend to lose a surprising amount of their hold, and things that have never been said tend to keep all of it.