You can mistake emotional intensity for connection because both make another person difficult to ignore.

Turbulence commands attention the same way closeness does. The arguments, the reconciliations, the constant preoccupation with what they are thinking: it all feels like depth because you cannot stop thinking about them. But being unable to ignore someone is not the same as being close to them, and calm relationships can feel flat by comparison simply because they take up less room.

Ask whether you know this person well or only think about them constantly. Do they know you, do you feel steadier around them, do you like who you are with them. Those questions separate connection from intensity better than any feeling will.