No sailboat goes straight into the wind. They zigzag, and they still arrive.

Direct is not always available, and insisting on it means not moving at all. A boat gets upwind by taking angled runs that each look like going the wrong way, and the sum of them is forward progress. The indirect route is not a failure of nerve or planning, it is the only route the conditions allow. Arrival is the measure, not how straight you got there.

Look at the thing you cannot approach head-on and work out what the angled version would be. A different course, a cheaper qualification first, a smaller job to get the experience. Take one tack this month and accept that it will feel sideways.