You can be proud of how you handled the hard thing without pretending it was okay.

Approval of your own conduct and approval of the situation are separate judgments, and they get collapsed because the language for them is clumsy. You can have handled something well while the thing itself stays unacceptable. Saying so is not complaining, and the pride is not an endorsement. Keeping the two apart is the difference between an honest account and a brave face.

Try saying both out loud about something recent: that it was not okay, and that you handled it well. Watch whether you feel the urge to drop one half. The half you want to cut is usually the one worth saying.