Want to know if a goal is really yours? Notice whether you think about it when nobody’s asking.

Borrowed goals are hard to spot from the inside, because they come with real effort and real stress attached. The tell is what your mind does in the gaps. A goal that is yours turns up uninvited on the bus and in the shower, while one that belongs to a parent or a group chat only appears when someone brings it up.

Pay attention to where your thoughts go this week when nothing is due. Notice what you look up for no reason. That list is better evidence of what you want than any plan you have written down.