Stop trying to return to who you were before life happened; build someone wiser from what remained.

After something difficult, the instinct is to try to get back to who you were, and that person often no longer exists in any recoverable form. The attempt can turn into a long project of restoration that never completes, which is its own kind of suffering. Building forward from what remains is different and usually more possible. It is not a lesser outcome, though it can feel like one for a while.

Rather than measuring yourself against the earlier version, take stock of what you actually have now, including what you learned. Then build from there. Grieve the earlier self honestly; that grief is real and often skipped.