Picking a fight online is choosing to spend your evening on a stranger.

Arguing with a stranger online is an agreement to spend your evening on them. They will not change their mind, you will not change yours, and the exchange is designed to keep producing the urge to reply. What you actually spend is the hour and the mood you carry into the rest of the night.

When you catch yourself composing a reply, put the phone down and ask what you are hoping to get. Close the tab instead, or mute the thread so it stops arriving. Spend the energy on the one conversation this week with somebody who will still be in your life next year.