Being honest when your friend asks “be real, is it good?” takes nerve. Be kind and true at once.

RESILIENCE

WHAT THIS MEANS

Asking that question is asking for the truth while hoping for a yes, which puts you in a tight spot. The lie is tempting because it is instant and costs nothing today, and it tells them your opinion is worthless. Honesty that comes with no warmth attached is just as useless, since they stop asking you anything.

Answer the specific question rather than giving a verdict: say which part works and which part you would change. Lead with the real strength, not a polite one. And if they wanted reassurance rather than notes, give that too, as long as it is not instead of the truth.

A QUESTION TO SIT WITH

When a friend last asked for honesty, did you give it?

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