Asking “what would you do differently?” after a loss takes courage. The answer is usually worth it.

After a loss the natural moves are explaining, blaming the conditions, or saying nothing until it fades. Asking somebody what they would change invites an answer you may not enjoy, and that is the whole cost of it. It is also the fastest route to the one or two things that actually decided the result. The people who improve quickest go looking for that while it still stings.

Ask a coach or a teammate within a day of the next loss, while the details are fresh. Ask for one change rather than a full review, then work on that.