The real measure of authority is what happens when using less of it would be enough.

The real information is in the cases where you could have used force and did not need to. Anyone will use everything they have when they are cornered. What you do when a lighter touch would work, and the heavier one is available and satisfying, is where your relationship to power actually shows.

Next time you are about to escalate, ask whether the smaller version would do. If it would, use it, and notice how reluctant you are.