Shame wants you to skip church this week. That’s exactly why you should go.

Shame has a consistent instinct and it is always isolation. It tells you to stay away from the exact people and places that would make you feel less terrible, on the grounds that you have forfeited your right to be there. That is the one piece of advice it ever gives, and following it reliably makes everything worse. The urge to hide is information about the shame, not about whether you belong.

Go this week specifically because you do not want to. Sit down, say nothing if you prefer, and leave without explaining yourself to anybody.