Grace is getting a second plate when you didn’t help cook. Then you do the dishes because you want to.

The order of events matters here. You turn up having contributed nothing, you are handed a full plate anyway, and only then, from somewhere other than obligation, you find yourself clearing up afterwards. That second part is a response rather than a repayment. People get this backwards and spend their lives trying to earn the first plate, which was never the deal and never could be.

Accept something this week without immediately balancing it. Say thank you, take the help, and then do the dishes later because you want to rather than because the plate needs paying for.