Bringing up old mistakes in every fight isn’t honesty. It’s keeping a file you were told to shred.

Keeping a record is not honesty, whatever it tells you about itself. Pulling out something from three months ago in the middle of a current argument is a tactic, and its purpose is winning rather than resolving. It also means the other person learns that nothing is ever actually finished with you, so there is no point apologising for anything. That is how couples and families end up arguing the same fight forever.

Stick to today’s thing in this week’s disagreement. One subject, no history, nothing retrieved from the file.