The older folks in the back pew have survived things you’re scared of. Ask them how.

The people who are easiest to walk past have usually been through the exact thing keeping you awake. Job losses, illness, divorce, burying someone: they did not get through it gracefully, and they know what helped. That knowledge sits unused because nobody asks, and because they assume you are not interested. Most people are glad to be asked and nobody ever does.

Choose one person at least forty years older than you and ask a real question this week. How did you get through that year, or what would you do differently. Then be quiet and let the answer take as long as it takes.