Grief allows contradictory emotions because love was never simple.

You can miss someone and be angry at them. You can feel relief and devastation in the same hour, love and resentment in the same breath. None of this means your grief is impure, because the relationship it came from held all those things too. Loss does not simplify a person; it just removes the chance to keep working on it.

Give the contradictory feelings equal standing rather than deciding which one is the real one. Writing both down, side by side, often does more than trying to resolve them. A complicated grief usually belongs to a complicated love, and both are allowed.