You can change how you react long before you change how you feel. Start with the reaction.

Feelings move slowly and are not really under your command. Behaviour is available now. You can keep the whole wave of irritation or dread exactly as it is and still change what your hands and mouth do next. The useful part is that it runs backwards too: do the calmer thing for long enough and the feeling eventually follows it down.

Pick one trigger you know well and decide the new response in advance. One breath before answering, or leaving the room, or saying you will reply later. Script it once and use it unchanged.