The more you work on your temper, the safer you are for the people who love you.

A temper does its damage inward, on the few people who cannot easily leave the room. Everyone else gets the managed version; the people who love you get the unedited one, which means they are the ones quietly adjusting. Working on it is not about being nicer in public. It is about the people nearest you not having to brace.

Learn your own warning sign, the one in your body before the words arrive: jaw, chest, heat in your face. When it comes, leave the room and come back in ten minutes. Nothing you say in that gap was needed.