You can honor where you came from without repeating everything that came with it.

Loyalty is often presented as an all or nothing package, as though respecting your family required carrying forward everything they handed you. It does not. You can be grateful for what they built, admire what they endured, and still decline the parts that would damage your own life. Selection is not rejection.

Separate the specific things you are grateful for from the specific things you intend not to repeat, and be able to say both. Keeping the good pieces on purpose is what makes leaving the others fair. Most families can tolerate this better than people fear.