Wanting to change and not knowing how is a real starting point. Ask someone who did it.

Not knowing how gets mistaken for not being serious. Wanting something and having no method is the ordinary first stage of every change anybody has ever made. What is missing is instructions rather than willpower, and instructions live in other people’s heads.

Think of one person who has even a little of what you want and ask them something narrow. Not how do I change my life, but what did you do in the first month. Narrow questions get answers; big ones get encouragement.