When a new baby shows up, the attention in the house gets shared. The love doesn’t get split. It gets bigger.
CREATIVITY
WHAT THIS MEANS
Attention is finite and it genuinely does get divided, so the thing you are noticing is real rather than imagined. Love works differently; it is not a fixed quantity being split into smaller portions. That distinction is cold comfort at first and it is also true, and it is why your parents seem both more stretched and more full.
Ask for attention specifically rather than waiting to be noticed. A particular half hour, a lift somewhere, one thing that is only yours. Specific requests get met in a busy house; general resentment does not.
A QUESTION TO SIT WITH
When did you have to share attention and assume it meant less?
MORE IN GROWTH, CHANGE & REINVENTION
- One day your mom tells a story about being nineteen and lost, and you realize she was never handed a manual either.
- You’ll never feel fully ready for the new job, school or city. Ready usually shows up a month after you start.
- Learning to apologize to your parents as an adult is a sign the relationship is growing up too.
Free, with nothing to buy inside it.