You influence people most when you’re helping them get what they want, not just what you want.

Persuasion that only serves you has a short reach, because people can usually feel which direction the benefit is flowing. Helping somebody get what they are already after makes you useful rather than demanding, and useful people get listened to on their own asks as well. There is no trick in it, only the work of knowing what the other person actually wants.

Ask one person this week what they are trying to get out of this season or this job. Then do one thing that moves them toward it. Come back to your own request afterward.