Accountability feels like an attack only when excuses have been treated like protection.

If excuses have been doing the work of protecting you, then anything that removes an excuse will feel like an attack on your safety rather than a piece of useful information. That is why accountability lands so hard for some people and lands lightly for others. It is not about sensitivity. It is about what has been holding the structure up.

Notice your body’s first reaction when someone points at something you did. If it braces, ask what would actually be at risk if the observation were true. Often the answer is much smaller than the reaction suggests, and naming that shrinks the threat.