At twelve you wanted to be sixteen. At sixteen you want to be twenty-one. Try being the age you are for a while.

Wanting to be older is a reliable pattern, and the reliability is the tell. Each age gets treated as a waiting room for the next, which means the whole stretch gets lived as preparation and none of it gets lived as itself. The permissions you are waiting for do arrive. They just arrive with a new list attached.

Make a short list of things that are only available at your current age and actually do two of them. Living at home with your friends five minutes away is one of them. You will not notice what this year had until it is over.