The way someone treats you when they’re angry is a preview, not an exception.
REFLECTION
WHAT THIS MEANS
Anger does not create a new person, it removes the effort of concealment. What comes out under pressure is material that was already in there, which is why somebody’s worst moment in an argument predicts the future better than the apology afterwards does. One bad day can genuinely be an exception. A pattern of them is information.
Keep a quiet note of how people are with you at their worst and take it seriously instead of explaining it away. If somebody frightens you when angry, that is worth telling an adult you trust.
A QUESTION TO SIT WITH
Who shows you their worst self when angry?
MORE IN MINDSET & IDENTITY
- Calm isn’t the same as not caring. Some of the people who care most are the steadiest ones in the room.
- Notice which compliments you remember for years. They tell you what you actually want to be known for.
- Leaders come with every accent there is. Nobody follows someone because of how they pronounce “water.”
Free, with nothing to buy inside it.