Earbuds in means “leave me alone,” but some people wear them hoping someone won’t.

Signals and wishes do not always match. Headphones are the most reliable way to be left alone, which is exactly why they get used by people who feel invisible and would rather look like they chose it. The armour and the loneliness are the same object. You have probably worn them that way yourself on a bad bus ride.

Say hello this week to one person whose signals suggest they would rather you did not, lightly enough that they can decline at no cost. If they take an earbud out, keep talking. If they do not, you have lost nothing and they still know somebody saw them.