A shadow is shaped like you but it isn’t you. Neither is your worst moment.

Something can resemble you exactly and still not be you. Your worst hour has your shape, your voice and your choices in it, which is why it is so convincing as a summary, and a summary is precisely what it is not. One outline is not the whole body it came from.

If you are carrying a moment you are ashamed of, you are allowed to put the verdict down. Repair what can be repaired, apologise if an apology is owed, then let it be one thing you did rather than the thing you are. Nobody who knows you well is using it as your definition.