You don’t really know someone until you’ve seen them tired, stressed and disappointed. That takes a while.

People are easy to read when things are going well, because the good version is the one everybody brings out first. Who they are under pressure takes time to see, and you cannot speed it up by asking. Tired, stressed and let down is where the real temperament lives, and those days arrive on their own schedule. That is why early certainty about a person, good or bad, is usually premature.

Give new friendships and new judgments a longer runway than feels natural. When someone does show you a hard day, pay attention to it without filing it as the final word. One bad Tuesday is information, not a verdict.